Jack, 2 - Washington Award Winner

Body

Watching his newborn sister having her diaper change, my son observed "My sister has 2 bums...a front bum and a back bum.
www.aggraygate.blogspot.com

Christine, 9 - Louisiana

Love

You know its love when you get one of those desserts that burts out in flames...I think people in love like to order those because it's just like how their hearts are...on fire. 
HontheP

Jay, 6 - Montana Award Winner

Lessons

Eating at a FAMILY RESTAURANT, my nephew GREW RESTLESS and started climbing and running around.  His grandmother being very into proper decorum told him "You are DRIVING ME UP A WALL."  To which he replied "Well Grandma, WHAT GOES UP MUST COME DOWN"
HontheP

Anonymous, 10 - New Mexico

Body

Feeling NAUSEOUS, I went upstairs and laid down in my bed.  My daughter came up and STARTED RUBBING MY BELLY and being OVERWEIGHT there was a lot to rub.  With complete seriousness she said "Mommy WHICH BELLY HURTS THE TOP OR THE BOTTOM ONE?  Oh it doesn't matter i can RUB THEM BOTH.
HontheP

Max, 3 - Tennessee

Sports

My Son's NEW FAVORITE GAME IS TACKLE FOOTBALL.  Unfortunately his LITTLE SISTER is the QUARTERBACK FOR THE OTHER TEAM, and is OBLIVIOUS to this fact.  Guess it beats the EARLIER GAME OF THE DAY - BAMBOO STICK NINJAS
HontheP

Lynnette, 8 - Florida

Love

DATES are for having fun and getting to know each other...even BOYS HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY IF YOU LISTEN LONG ENOUGH
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Anonymous, 12 - New Hampshire Award Winner

Food

I almost CHOKED TO DEATH on Lucky Charms this morning.  Let me tell you it's NOT SO MAGICALLY DELICIOUS when it's LODGED IN YOUR THROAT
HontheP

Anonymous, 4 - Vermont

Food

I was 8 MONTHS PREGNANT and tried to prepare my son to attend the birth of his sister by reading him BOOKS ON CHILDBIRTH for kids.  One morning while EATING RAISIN BRAN cereal for breakfast he asked WHY I LIKED RAISINS so much.  I replied "Because the BABY IN MY BELLY LIKES RAISINS JUST LIKE YOU DID."  My son responded "NO I DIDN'T.  You just thought I did because when the RAISINS CAME DOWN THE FOOD HOSE...I SPIT THEM OUT"


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Anonymous, 3 - Nevada Award Winner

Bloopers

My daughter was playing one day and GOT VERY FRUSTRATED.  Suddenly I hear her shout with great exasperation "OH BAM IT"
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Anonymous, 4 - Maryland Award Winner

Food

The following conversation took place EARLY SATURDAY MORNING:

Daughter:  I'm hungry and want to go to the kitchen to FIX SOMETHING TO EAT

Dad:  No we will GET UP SHORTLY AND MAKE BREAKFAST

Daughter: Can I just go down now and fix some cereal

Dad: NO

Daughter: But I want cereal now

Dad: WHAT PART OF NO DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND?

Daughter:  ALL OF IT

HontheP

Anonymous, 6 - South Carolina

Life

I took my grandaughter for a QUICK TRIP TO WALMART. She asked if she could buy something I replied, "I DON'T HAVE ANY MONEY."  She replied "Why did I even BOTHER COMING with you guys then?"
HontheP

Anonymous, 1 - Texas Award Winner

Body

When I started POTTY TRAINING my daughter every time she would use the potty I would say "GOOD JOB...GET YOURSELF A CANDY" and she'd run to get an M&M.  One day I WAS USING THE POTTY when she walked in and said "GREAT JOB MOM...GET YOURSELF AN M&M".  So I did.
HontheP

6th Grade Teacher - Oklahoma

School

Unpacking SCHOOL SUPPLIES for the 1st day of school I overheard a student ask "Why do I NEED SCISSORS TO OPEN A PACK OF SCISSORS?"
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MacKenzie - Utah Award Winner

Age

On 40th BIRTHDAY I overheard my daughter say to her little brother: "Buddy, it's not that ALBERTSON'S DOESN'T HAVE THAT MANY CANDLES, it's that if we LIGHT THEM ALL AT ONCE, we'll BURN THE HOUSE DOWN. That's why we're MAKING MOMMY CUPCAKES"
http://jonbonjovious.blogspot.com

URL: http://thegreengrandma.blogspot.com

I can't believe I ate the whole thing.

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Another example of why kids should always wear helmets - Plunger Attacks

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Daddy I thought you said my bike goes through puddles?

Fools rush in where angels fear to tread