Mom: You need a SHOWER after swimming in the OCEAN TO WASH OF THE SALT

Son: You're right because I see lots of PEPPER there too (Dark sand)

Grandma: The dog has a peppermint CANDY CANE STUCK TO HER REAR

Grandaughter: At least it will TASTE GOOD when she LICKS HER BUTT

My daughter was telling me a LONG STORY about something I KNEW ABOUT in school.  Toward the end she said "And DO YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENED NEXT?"

In the mood to tease her, I told her EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENED NEXT

She stared at me and gasped "Mommy YOU MUST BE PSYCHO" (Psychic)

(Watching the news on the night of the presidential election)

Son:  I forget...IS OBAMA THE BLUE OR RED ONE? 

Dad:  Neither, he's THE BLACK ONE