While sitting around the dinner table, a centerpiece of wildflowers and weeds poked out crazily from the vase. Picked during her walk outside, our daughter said sweetly "Mom the flowers look just like you."  My wife was so touched by the sweet remark until our daughter continued "because you're having a bad hair day"

My son was SITTING ON MY LAP  when I asked him about his birthday.  I said "Your BIRTHDAY IS TOMORROW are you excited?"  He replied  "He, he, he, I JUST FARTED ON YOU"  (I guess that says it all)

Shortly fter being toilet trained my daughter was sitting on the TOILET GOING #2 when she said to her Grandma innocently "WHAT'S THAT SMELL?" Grnadma had to explainit was HER BOTTOM STINKING UP THE PLACE

While sitting in the kitchen eating breakfast my son got up TO USE THE BATHROOM...HE WALKS PAST THE HALL BATHROOM AND OPENS THE FRONT DOOR.  When I asked him why he had to pee out the front door instead of the bathroom which was closer and more socially acceptable he replied "BECAUSE I CAN" (I can't argue with that)