When I asked my son for help on my ARTISTIC EPXRESSION INFORMATIVE WRITING THESIS he gave me a QUOTE BY EINSTEIN about imagination being more important than knowledge.  When I ASKED IF HE KNEW THE SOURCE, he told me "The book called CAPTAIN UNDERPANTS" (and he was right)

My daughter and classmates drew names of a FAMOUS HISTORICAL FIGURES to research and DEBATE AGAINST EACH OTHER.  My daughter drew MARCO POLO and won her first debate against GENGHIS KHAN.  Next she debated GHANDI AND WON.  She continued to debate and WIN UNTIL HER LAST DEBATE.  When I asked WHY SHE THOUGHT SHE LOST, my daughter said "Well IT'S HARD TO WIN A DEBATE AGAINST JESUS"

2nd Grader: Would you be MAD AT ME FOR SOMETHING I DIDN'T DO?

Teacher: NO of course not

2nd Grader: Good because I DIDN'T DO MY HOMEWORK

If I could be TEACHER FOR 1 DAY:

1. I would tell the class to DO NOTHING

2. We would have GYM

3. There would be LUNCH

4. Everyone would GO HOME happy

Teacher: Who DISCOVERED the NORTH POLE?

Kindergartener:  SANTA CLAUS of course

Student: The FIREMAN came down the ladder pregnant

Teacher: Don't you know what PREGNANT MEANS?

Student: Yes, it means CARRYING A CHILD

Teacher: I'm an OCTAPUS and I'm going to WRAP YOU IN MY TENTICLES  

PreK: Hey you better watch out or I am going to wrap MY TESTICLES around you

Teacher: What do you like about yourself?  

PreK: When I eat newspaper