Anonymous, 3 - Virginia Award Winner

Animals

One hot July summer night my grandson and I were playing with flashlights in the front yard (I live in the country and he lives with his parents in the city).  He turned the flashlight off and ran around the corner into the backyard than reappeared at the front porch where I was sitting.  He exclaimed, “Noni, hurry and come see...There are bugs with flashlights in your backyard.” (Fireflies)
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Anonymous - Nevada

Animals

Daughter:  Mommy what do WORMS TASTE LIKE?"

Mom: I guess they TASTE LIKE DIRT

Daughter: WHY? (Her new favorite word)

Mom: Because THEY LIVE IN DIRT

Daughter: But mommy FISH DON'T TASTE LIKE WATER 

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David, 6 - Texas Award Winner

Animals

While walking with 3 boys in tow we saw A MAN WALKING HIS DOG and 10 paces in front of him were a GROUP OF GIRLS. As the girls changed directions, the MAN DECIDED TO HAVE A GOOD STARE at the girls except he didn't see the CURB coming.  His little DOG'S LEASH got caught around his feet and HE WENT DOWN. This in itself was funny but then my oldest son shouted "Hey Mister I'm gonna CALL THE POLICE if you keep TRYING TO KILL YOUR DOG".
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Brianna, 6 - North Carolina Award Winner

Animals

I took my daughters to Pet Smart to just LOOK AT THE FISH. A sales lady walks up and asks if she could GET A FISH FOR US. My daughter replys "Do you have ANY DEAD ONES? WE KILL THEM anyway"
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Izzy, 6 - Tennessee Award Winner

Animals

When my daughter NOTICED 2 DOGS PLAY FIGHTING across the street, she said "Wow mom that BIG ONE ON TOP must be a JACK WRESTLE TERRIER (Jack Russell Terrier)

 

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Anonymous - Maine Award Winner

Animals

When I was a little I was sitting around with MY DAD AND ALL HIS BUDDIES IN THE YARD.  I was bored when I NOTICED A BIRD PECKING AWAY AT A TREE.  I asked my Dad what that was and he replied A WOODPECKER.  I thought for a second than said "WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF WE SHOT OFF THE PECKER WOULD WE SAVE THE WOOD?" 
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Anonymous, 6 - Arizona Award Winner

Animals

While busy WORKING IN MY DOG GROOMING SALON to my surpise MY DAUGHTER ANSWERED THE PHONE.  The person on the other end ASKED TO SPEAK TO THE GROOMER.  My daughter blurted out "SHE'S IN THE TUB WITH A CUSTOMER RIGHT NOW"
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Anonymous - North Carolina Award Winner

Animals

Daughter:  Remember how the CATS used to MAKE STINKIES (CAT SPRAY)...until they went to the KITTY DOCTOR and came back with STICHES ON THEIR PEEPEES because the doctor took away their what-do-you-call-its?

Me: TESTICLES...that's what MALES HAVE, and THEY MAKE THE STINKIES 

Daughter: (Looks at Dad) DAD DOESN'T MAKE STINKIES did he GO TO THE DOCTOR TOO?

http://www.reluctantdomesticdiva.blogspot.com

Micheal - Arizona Award Winner

Animals

My sister came over with her NEW DOG, a BLACK & WHITE SPOTTED CHIHUAHUA.  When she was in the other room my son whispered "She should really WATER HER DOG SO IT CAN GROW BIGGER ...INTO A COW"
http://www.thewmparentingconnection.com

Morgan, 6 - Minnesota

Animals

Mommy why do TICKS DRINK BLOOD? When I grow up, I'm going to TRAIN TICKS TO EAT LEFTOVERS and stuff no one wants
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Anonymous, 12 - New Hampshire

Animals

Vet: Your DOG has CANCER OF THE HIND LEG.  You have 2 options, either PUT HER DOWN or AMPUTATE THE LEG

Dad: I think my daughter and I have the SAME THOUGHTS on this, so I'll let her speak

Daughter:  DON'T TAKE HER LEG OFF... I DON'T WANT THE OTHER DOGS MAKING FUN OF HER

Dad: That WASN'T EXACTLY WHAT I WAS THINKING

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Emma, 9 - Michigan

Animals

Dad: What do you call an ANIMAL that EATS JUST MEAT?

Daughter: A CARNIVORE 

Dad:  What do you call an animal that EATS JUST PLANTS?

Daughter: A HERBIVORE

Dad: What do you call an animal that EATS BOTH?

Daughter: A BOTHIVORE?

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Taytum , 6 - Virginia

Animals

Driving home, a SKUNK SMELL came into the car that nearly TOOK OUR BREATH AWAY.  Our daughter said "Mom, SKUNKS NEED TO TAKE SHOWERS"
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Anonymous, 3 - Washington

Animals

Mommy I want to THROW THIS OUT...GIVE IT TO OSCAR (OSCAR who lives in the TRASH CAN ON SESAME STREET)
 

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URL: http://thegreengrandma.blogspot.com

I can't believe I ate the whole thing.

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Another example of why kids should always wear helmets - Plunger Attacks

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Daddy I thought you said my bike goes through puddles?

Fools rush in where angels fear to tread